How to Start and Maintain a Good Conversation in English
“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there’s so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.” ~Truman Capote, American Author
It is tough to have a good conversation in your own language.
It is tougher to have a good conversation in a tongue that is not your own.
It is a nightmare to have a good conversation with a stranger in a country that is not your own.
Many emotions come into play when you have to initiate a dialogue. These can be:
- fear ????
- terror ????
- anxiety????
- disappointment ????
Luckily enough, for some, these feelings might be the opposite:
- excitement! ????
- happiness:) ????
- joy:)) ????
- Relief ????
How do you react when you have to start and maintain a conversation with someone?
Are you…?
- happy?
- excited?
- afraid?
- sad?
- terrified?
- worried?
- relaxed?
Do you..?
- sweat?
- walk towards the person in a relaxed mood?
- practise to yourself before talking with the other person?
- have an imaginary conversation before the real conversation?
- ask for help?
Can you…?
- talk confidently?
- talk without trembling?
- find your words easily?
- breathe without difficulty?
All things considered, your reaction will depend on the type of conversation you will have.
Which type of conversation do you readily engage in?
Sample Answers
- I like interesting and memorable conversations.
- I don’t like boring and lengthy conversations.
- I prefer taking part in serious conversations.
- I often initiate animated conversations.
- Long-winded conversations are rarely fascinating.
- It is a real pleasure to have decent conversations with like-minded people.
- It is rare for me to partake in one-sided and absurd conversations.
- I like heartfelt and earnest conversations in which my interlocutor is sincere.
Your Turn: Read the above sentences aloud and record yourself using a mobile phone. You can also create your own sentences if you want to be more challenged. Good luck!
How to start and Maintain a Good Conversation in English: Step One
How about starting with a few definitions? What are the differences between the following words?
A conversation can be…
- an oral exchange between two or more people.
- a talk in which ideas or news are exchanged.
- a private talk in which thoughts and feelings are shared.
- an informal discussion.
- an interchange of thoughts.
A dialogue can be…
- a conversation between different characters in a book, play or film.
- a serious exchange of opinions.
- an exchange of ideas.
- formal talks between different groups of people.
A talk can be…
- communication by spoken words.
- a formal discussion over a period of time.
- a speech that is given to a group of people for educational purposes.
A conversationalist is…
- a person who likes having conversations.
- a person who enjoys talking with other people.
- a person who is good at engaging in conversation.
- a person who excels in conversation.
A good conversationalist…
- listens.
- is polite.
- has the right tone and voice.
- pays attention to the person he or she is talking to.
- does not only talk about himself or herself.
- does not interrupt his or her interlocutor.
- engages in a two-sided conversation.
- shows proper body language.
- rephrases his or her interlocutor’s sentences.
- is empathetic.
- is curious and shows interest in the other person’s story or ideas.
A good conversationalist in English…
- is centred on communication.
- is not worried about his or her accent as long as he or she is understood.
- initiates a two-sided conversation.
- is confident.
- is not aggressive.
- does not focus on vocabulary and grammar mistakes.
- articulates.
- makes sure that he or she is being understood.
- uses the right facial expressions and body language.
- listens and demands clarification if he or she does not understand something.
Your Turn: What makes a good conversationalist? Prepare your answer and record yourself using a mobile phone.
How to Start and Maintain a Good Conversation in English: Step Two-Conditions for Success
How do you become a good and confident conversationalist in English? How do you start and maintain good conversations in a language that is not your own?
First Things First: Prepare the Ground
Oftentimes, we will hesitate to initiate a conversation with someone because…
- we do not know what we are going to say to the other person.
- we do not have enough vocabulary to send our message across to the other person.
- we do not master basic grammatical structures.
- we are ashamed of our accent.
- we are shy.
To solve these problems, you can…
- prepare basic sentences for different types of situations.
Here is some more vocabulary you can use when you meet someone for the first time.
- read examples of dialogues in which basic grammatical structures are used.
- practise having conversations with your friends before having them with strangers.
- do the role plays that your teachers ask you to do in class to grow confidence and perfect your accent.
- allow yourself to make mistakes because they allow us to grow.
Practise, practise and practise
It is good to be an active learner. You should create as many opportunities as possible where you can speak English.
Tips
- Watch as many films as you can in English with or without subtitles.
- Go to the theatre and watch plays in English.
- Listen to English podcasts to perfect your accent.
- Watch humorous YouTube videos with sketches.
- You can make Tik-Tok videos where you imitate someone to make your accent better.
- Record yourself speaking English to check your progress.
- Create your own dialogues and read them out aloud with your friend or your classmate.
- Read and be aware of what is happening in the world so that you can always have something to say about various subjects.
- Develop your general culture by going to the cinema, visiting museums, watching the news and documentaries. The more knowledgeable you get, the more confident you will become.
- Develop your listening skills actively.
- Be open-minded and learn about new people and new cultures.
- Do not be afraid of making mistakes — a child falls several times before he or she can learn how to walk properly.
- Write down new words and expressions in a small notebook that you can always carry around with you.
Your Turn: What can you do to develop your conversation skills? Prepare your answer and record yourself using a mobile phone.
Sample Conversation
You are at a theme park and you are queuing to buy a ticket. There is an English-speaking tourist in front of you. This is a great opportunity for you to speak English! What do you do or say?
First of all, observe the situation. There are many things you can say about your surroundings and the people you see. Think of a few basic grammatical structures or expressions you might use and jump straight into the conversation.
You: Finally, we can now buy our tickets.
Tourist: Oh, yes. I have been here for almost thirty minutes. I didn’t know that queues could be so long here. Hi, by the way. My name is Jane.
You: Hi, my name is Lisa. Nice to meet you.
Tourist: Nice to meet you too.
You: Where are you from?
Tourist: I’m from London. Do you live here?
You: No I don’t. I actually come from the south of France. I just came here to visit the theme park, just like you. So you are English.
Tourist: Yes, I am and we are both tourists, ha, ha, ha. I have a friend who teaches English in Toulouse. She is American. Where do you live exactly in southern France?
You: I live in Marseille. I was born there and all my relatives live there. Your friend is very brave to live and work in a foreign country. I would like to visit London one day.
Tourist: Please do, it is a very lovely place. Oh, it’s our turn to buy tickets. How time flies when you are having a good conversation.
You: It does. It was a pleasure to meet you.
Tourist: I enjoyed talking to you too. Have a nice visit and a nice trip back to Marseille.
You: Thank you and you too!
Your Turn: Think of a situation where you might speak English with someone. Prepare a conversation and record yourself. You can do this with a friend, a classmate or a relative. Good luck!
Listen to the whole lesson:
Further Exploration:
Download Worksheet:
- How to Start and Maintain a Good Conversation in English, Learn English With Africa, September 2020
- Different Types of Conversations, Learn English With Africa, September 2020
Read:
- How to Be a Better Speaker in the Classroom, Learn English With Africa, September 2020
- Small Talk Vocabulary, Informal and Formal Greetings, learn English With Africa, June 2019
Watch: Ten Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee